Hating weddings was easy until I got married

Maybe it was this whole story, so many happy times, so many sad times too. Whatever the reason, when he asked me in the spring of 2021, ...


Maybe it was this whole story, so many happy times, so many sad times too. Whatever the reason, when he asked me in the spring of 2021, I simply said yes.

My favorite venue pick: City Hall, with a guest list capped at zero. When we arrived at the county clerk’s office, looking for space with men filling out fishing applications, it turned out to be too impersonal a setting even for me. The woman behind the counter slipped a number in our direction, saying, “Call the city judiciary. She will come to your house.

On September 14, 2021, 25 years from the date we met, a judge stood with us and a few loved ones in our backyard and we were married. Afterwards, I surprised myself once again by saying that I never thought I would hate a wedding again.

My contempt, I realized, stemmed from the fact that for so long I was expected to attend these momentous occasions, but I was also not allowed to marry. And when same-sex couples finally got the law, I got the opposite reaction from everyone who rushed to do it, thinking, “You know what you can do with your sacred institution. Frankly, it hardened my heart to all of this.

And so, my apologies: I’m sorry if on your special day, I was just going with the flow. What I’m trying to say: I was working on stuff.

As for our nuptials, it wouldn’t be a wedding without bad behavior, would it? As we expressed our heartfelt wishes, our dog trotted across the lawn and, in a stunning performance, did his business. Twice. What could we do but laugh?

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