How to answer the question "When are you getting married?" »Question

Avoid focusing on a timeline. If you plan to get married at some point, avoid discussing any future dates with family members that encou...


If you plan to get married at some point, avoid discussing any future dates with family members that encourage pushing. “The ‘right time’ is more of an abstract concept, and it’s harder for families to understand,” said Dr Hertlein. “The family will focus on ways in which they can help you speed up the timeline, which will make it harder for the couple to resist their interference.”

So instead of appeasing marriage-conscious family members with a possible timeline, just share that marriage is an ongoing discussion in your relationship. Irina Firstein, a therapist practicing in Manhattan, said couples can tell people that they find out for themselves and that they would appreciate no one asking them questions, because it “just puts pressure on us” and doesn’t not help to achieve faster comprehension.

“You can also add that you appreciate their worry and understand their anxiety, but their questions are causing problems for you as a couple,” she said. “Just say that when you know a wedding date, they’ll be the first to know. “

Eric Hutchison, 29, a life raft technician living in Seattle, said he had no plans to get married until he met his fiancée, Rebecca Anderson, 33, an organizer of events also living in Seattle. Six months into their relationship, he began answering questions from family members about his intentions – questions he couldn’t answer.

“I know it made my partner uncomfortable because she also didn’t have a good answer, or didn’t know when and if I would propose to her,” Mr. Hutchison said. “The more that question was asked, the more pressure she felt and I could see it. We had talked about marriage several times early in our relationship and I knew it meant a lot to her.

The couple eventually started telling family members interviewed that they simply “didn’t have a date yet”. Mr Hutchison said the issue forced the two to discuss the possibility of a marriage. When the time came, the decision to propose was his and hers alone. “I wasn’t ready to get into marriage until I wanted to, just to make these people happy,” Hutchison added. “It took 4 years, but eventually I ended up proposing because I love my partner and want to show her that I am committed to her.”

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Newsrust - US Top News: How to answer the question "When are you getting married?" »Question
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