Columnist Karen Gardner: Hands Off

Posted: 11/09/2021 17:06 PM You can’t tell me what to do with my body. It’s up to me and I can do whatever I want. This is called ...

Posted: 11/09/2021 17:06 PM

You can’t tell me what to do with my body. It’s up to me and I can do whatever I want. This is called freedom!

You can’t make me wear your masks if I don’t want to, whether you’re the mayor or the governor or the school board or even the president.

It is unconstitutional to create these warrants that require me to wear a certain item of clothing of your choice or even get vaccinated.

Of course, I haven’t read the Constitution, but Fox News says it’s in there, as does my favorite radio host and the social media feed that I religiously follow.

Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all of your arguments, that wearing the mask and getting vaccinated, which I know full well contains listening and tracking devices, will prevent my unvaccinated self from getting infected and spreading the virus you are all so afraid of. I know I might kill a few people, but they’re just very old people, aren’t they? And I heard somewhere that these people can be sacrificed so that we can achieve collective immunity, which is a good thing, I think. And kids don’t get COVID, so stop trying to force my unvaccinated kids to wear your masks. I’ve done my research on this, and I know what I’m talking about, or at least Facebook has done its research and knows what it’s about.

It’s my body and I have the right to do with it what I want. Yeah sure when I drive my car you force me to be sober and you make me buy insurance and I take this warrant but it’s different, somewhere it’s, it’s a car ! And I know I could lose my license if I break these rules. Oh wait, that’s another thing you asked me to do – get a driver’s license. But again, it’s just about the car, not my body.

My body, like that of others, is sacrosanct. So keep your dirty hands and the laws away.

Unless, of course, your body is owned by a woman.

In this case, there is that (non-automotive) situation where this free body doctrine does not apply. As soon as a woman becomes pregnant, she loses the protections of the doctrine. I mean, after all, she harbors something within her that might someday become a human being, and that’s something we care about more than she does.

I know what you are thinking, that the highest court in our land – and don’t I just love these Supremes – has said it is constitutional to allow a woman to have control over her own body. But in this case, our beloved Constitution and the High Court, which both have the final say on all other matters in American life, are simply wrong.

Women who carry with them something that could become a human being have no rights. If a man deposits a sperm in her and connects to one of her eggs, her bodily freedoms are immediately revoked and transferred to the growing collection of cells inside her. She must now allow this collection to grow for the next nine months, regardless of the circumstances of the sperm delivery or the impact of this collection of cells on her body, her life or the life of the potential human who could be born.

That’s it, when the sperm meets the egg, the woman becomes nothing more than a fertile culture medium. But that’s okay, this collection is the one we’re interested in right now, isn’t it? Yes, at least until the woman gives birth to what could be an unwanted child. After all, she had lost her free body rights and therefore had to grow up and deliver the finished product, like it or not. This is just the way it all works.

But then the doctrine returns and it recovers its free bodily protections. Of course, at that point it will be his responsibility to raise that finished product, perhaps on his own, and if that is not possible, then to give it away. But that’s not my problem, is it? You know, it suddenly occurs to me that the sperm deliverer does not lose his free body protections during those nine long months of cell growth. Oh wait, it’s a man, sure, that’s the answer. She was created with the device for pregnancy, it was not. So even though he’s an integral part of launching it all, he retains his free body rights. There, no surprise.

Now I hope you understand how it all works. Our bodies are ours and no chosen one will tell us otherwise. No laws, no warrants, nothing!

Well, you know, that’s if you’re someone other than a pregnant woman.

Karen Gardner, of Haydenville, can be reached at

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Newsrust - US Top News: Columnist Karen Gardner: Hands Off
Columnist Karen Gardner: Hands Off
Newsrust - US Top News
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