Published: 1/6/2021 2:18:11 PM Modified: 1/6/2021 2:18:01 PM I can’t believe this is my last satire of the Trump presidency. Time s...
Published: 1/6/2021 2:18:11 PM
Modified: 1/6/2021 2:18:01 PM
Nixon scowled, “I’m not a crook.” But he was. Our current president said, “I’m (expletive deleted)” but he wasn’t. Clinton swore, “I did not have sex with that woman” and got impeached. The current occupant of the White House boasted, ” I just grab them by the …” and got elected.
Bush the elder promised, “Read my lips.” POTUS pointed out “… I’ve kept more promises then I made.” Kennedy challenged, “Ask what you can do for your country.” POTUS postulated, “I’m a very stable genius.” On education POTUS pondered, “No, I’m not cutting services … I’m cutting spending.” While Bush the younger asked, “Is our children learning?” Bush the younger announced, “Mission accomplished” on an aircraft carrier yet the war went on. POTUSproded Pence to proclaim, “We’ve defeated Al-Qaida.”
Truman affirmed, “The buck stops here.” POTUS denied, “I don’t take responsibility at all.” Lincoln saw, “The better angels of our nature.” POTUS proclaimed, “American carnage.” Lincoln warned, “You can fool some of the people all of the time.” POTUS bragged he could, “… shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters. …” Washington never said, “I cannot tell a lie.” Trump never told the truth.
Reagan demanded, “Tear down this wall.” POTUS tweeted, “Build the wall and crime will fall.” It rhymes, so it must be true. FDR assured, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” DJT declared, “Just stay calm. It will go away.” Carter vowed, “I’ll never lie to you.” The Donald never said anything like that. Carter also confessed “I’ve lusted in my heart.” You know who lusts a little lower.
It’s true, his supporters think he’s the greatest president since Jefferson Davis. But rather then adding him to Mount Rushmore, they want to recarve it, so it’s just him. Why should Lincoln the loser be up there? If Lincoln was such a great president why did they assassinate him? But I digress. Instead, “Mount Trumpmore” will be a huge sculpture of the future former president, carving a giant statue of himself. Mexico will pay for it, but don’t quote me.
Andy Morris-Friedman
Hadley
COMMENTS