The Recorder - My Turn: Holiday classics with a political twist

After eight years, I sense some of you might be getting a little tired of the John Bos “Saint Nick” parodies. Are you kidding? Not me. I ...

After eight years, I sense some of you might be getting a little tired of the John Bos “Saint Nick” parodies. Are you kidding? Not me. I enjoy consuming the catchy cliches of those timeless classics, as do the dozens of other fans, almost as much as I do vintage 2018 fruit cake and last year’s cloves flavor ribbon candy. Heck, I’ve written a few myself.

This year, though, let’s take a different tack. I thought I’d invite you to join me, as I ever so slightly tweak some of your favorite seasonal songs, in recognition of the strange times we are living in. So join me as we put the fun back in the fundamentals of the Christmas festivities.

Sing along if you can spot the tune to this holiday classic:

“I’m dreaming of a Red Christmas,

With China’s interest in Old Joe.

With the streets a-burning, no children learning,

Antifa will soon be in control.

I’m dreaming of a Red Christmas,

And socialist policies in place,

A future not so merry and bright,

Soon we’ll sing ‘America Good Night.’”

And who doesn’t love this yuletide classic. Is that chestnuts I smell roasting?

“Cop cars roasting in an open fire,

Rioters punch you in the nose,

They’ll be in your hood,

They are up to no good,

Merry Christmas this year.

I think you got it. Hey, is that Rudolph?

“All the elites in D.C.,

Driving big and shiny cars,

But with no fossil fuels,

You won’t be going all that far.

Half of the country’s people,

They laugh at and call them names,

They’re planning to take our freedoms,

With their politician games.”

Tell me if this one doesn’t fill you with the Christmas spirit:

“Here come Chi-Coms, here come Chi-Coms,

Right down Washington lanes,

Swallwell, Hunter and all the progressives,

Pulling on the reins,

Bells are ringing but no children singing,

Marxist utopia in sight,

Holes in stockings, say your prayers,

‘Cause the Chi-Coms come tonight.”

No Christmas would be complete without this all-time favorite. On this one, you have the option of taking your car keys and jingling them while you sing along. Ready?

“Something smells, something smells, last election day,

Phantom votes were added in, somewhere along the way-ay,

Something smells, something smells, last election day,

Leftist weasels have to cheat, they operate this way.

Let’s all hope the republic isn’t being plunged into a winter wonderland.

Hear the Squad, are you listening,

Sounds as though, they’re just hissing,

A terrible sound, I’d rather drown,

Country’s in a wacky wonderland.”

Thanks for singing along. I hope you’ll be humming these new holiday classics throughout the season and into the upcoming indictments.

“With silver bells, in their cells,

Wouldn’t it just be a pity,

In Sing Sing, the ding-a-lings,

Hope they will see judgment day.”

Gary Bourbeau is a resident of Gill.

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Newsrust: The Recorder - My Turn: Holiday classics with a political twist
The Recorder - My Turn: Holiday classics with a political twist
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