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Jimmy Kimmel Endures Trump’s ‘Pettysburg Address’

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President Trump took a post-impeachment victory lap on Thursday, lashing out at “dishonest and corrupt” opponents at the National Prayer Breakfast and venting for an hour at the White House in front of Republican supporters. (At both events, he held up newspapers with banner headlines about his acquittal by the Senate.)

“And this morning, Trump began his toxic victory shamble at the most appropriate place for vengeance: the National Prayer Breakfast.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“This is a prayer breakfast at which he’s naming people he doesn’t like. Nancy Pelosi was so upset she ripped her pancakes in half.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Because what is prayer if not a time to air petty grievances?” — SETH MEYERS

“Trump showed off a copy of USA Today, with the headline, ‘Acquitted.’ Trump was like, [as Trump] ‘Now I can do anything I want. I even stole this USA Today from a Holiday Inn.’” — JIMMY FALLON

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez went back to bartending in the Bronx on Thursday night’s “Desus & Mero.”

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